Macedonian Humour

[Bratot]

In a pub somewhere in Athens, Yannis Fafoutakis hoisted his beer and said, " Here's to spending the rest of my life, between the legs of my wife!"

That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!

He went home and told his wife, Eleni, 'I won the prize for the Best toast of the night.'

She said, 'Aye, did ya now. And what was your toast?'

Yannis said, 'Here's to spending the rest of my life, sitting in church beside my wife.

'Oh, that is very nice indeed, Yanni!' Eleni said.

The next day, Eleni ran into one of Yanni's drinking buddies on the street corner.

The man chuckled leeringly and said, 'Yannis won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Eleni..'

She said, 'Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come.'

[DirtyCodingHabitz]

In a pub somewhere in Athens, Yannis Fafoutakis hoisted his beer and said, " Here's to spending the rest of my life, between the legs of my wife!"

That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!

He went home and told his wife, Eleni, 'I won the prize for the Best toast of the night.'

She said, 'Aye, did ya now. And what was your toast?'

Yannis said, 'Here's to spending the rest of my life, sitting in church beside my wife.

'Oh, that is very nice indeed, Yanni!' Eleni said.

The next day, Eleni ran into one of Yanni's drinking buddies on the street corner.

The man chuckled leeringly and said, 'Yannis won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Eleni..'

She said, 'Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come.'

Brilliant!!

[makedonin]

A guy is having a sex with his girl friend.
Suddenly he stops in the middle of the action.
His girl friend was puzzled and asked: "What are you doing?".
He replied: "I saw this at "youporn", it is called buffering!"

[Prolet]

Here is one with good knockers

http://www.sitel.com.mk/video/zanimlivosti/talent-super-gradi

[The LION will ROAR]

Go praka babata dedoto na prodavnica i mu veli:ke kupis dve raboti leb i mleko .....razbraaaa.
Se vraka dedoto i nosi samo edna cetka za zabi. Na toa babata mu veli:ti rekov dve raboti a ti mi nosis samo cetka a kaj e pastata aaaaaa.....

[The LION will ROAR]

[Commander Bond]

A Macedonian, an Englishman and a Greek were sitting in a pub discussing the best pubs around.

The Englishman says, ’’There’s a pub in the West Midlands where the landlord buys you a drink for every one that you buy.‘’

The Macedonian is not impressed and says, ’’That’s nothing! I know a place in Bitola every time you buy a drink the landlord buys you five.‘’

At this point the Englishman is fairly impressed.

The Greek, totally unimpressed, says ’’That’s nothing. In Athens there’s this pub where the landlord buys your drinks all night, and then when the bar shuts he takes you into a room and makes love to you.‘’

The Macedonian and Englishman are well impressed and ask if the Greek goes there a lot.

He replies ’’No, but my sister told me about it.’’

[Daniel the Great]

This is a joke that i found funny.

Two Macedonians were walking down the street when they noticed a guy from Pakistan standing on the corner. As they passed him one of the Macedonians swung and king hit the Pakistani knocking him out on the ground. Shocked, the other Macedonian says, "abe, oti go udre?" To which he replied... "Ahhh Pa-ki-stani!

LOL....................

[Bratot]

Lol, good one Bonde

Check this:

*There have been many definitions of hell, but for the English the best definition is that it is the place where the Germans are the police, the Swedish are the comedians, the Italians are the defense force, Frenchmen dig the roads, the Belgians are the pop singers, the Spanish run the railways, the Turks cook the food, the Irish are the waiters, the Greeks run the government, and the common language is Dutch.

*Here, then, as a service to future presidents of the European Union, is the Utley Guide to the National Characteristics of the Peoples of Europe:
Belgians: mad, boring. Frenchmen: arrogant, chauvinistic, garlic-breathed. Germans: humourless, ruthless, efficient, greedy. Spaniards: lazy, hot-tempered, bloodthirsty. Irishmen: drunk, lazy, self-pitying, dishonest. Italians: volatile, sleazy, vain. Swedes: sex-obsessed, robotic, conformist. Greeks: smelly, hirsute, untrustworthy. Austrians: fat, wannabe Germans. Finns: pessimistic, sun-starved, suicidal. Dutchmen: clog-wearing, tulip-fancying dope addicts. Portuguese, Danes, Luxembourgeoise: too insignificant to bother about. The Brits: upright, honest, fair-minded (excluding the Scots, who are mean and belligerent, and the Welsh, who are blathering windbags)... before I am dragged off and lynched, I would like to make it clear that there are huge numbers of exceptions to these generalisations.
- Tom Utley, "The Daily Telegraph"


*Q: A rich Greek, a poor Greek, Santa, and the easter bunny are each in a corner of a room, and a dollar is in the middle. Who gets it?
A: The poor Greek, the other three don't exist.


*How do you kill half the population of Greece?
Throw a penny off a cliff.
How do you kill the other half?
Tell them its still down there.

*What's the difference between a pizza and a Greek?
A pizza can feed a family.

[Bratot]

3 Greeks And 3 Turks
3 Greeks and 3 Turks are travelling by train to a conference. At the
station, the 3 Turks each buy tickets and watch as the 3 Greeks buy only
a single ticket.
"How are 3 people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks one Turk.
"Watch and you'll see," answers one Greek.

They all board the train. The Turks take their respective seats but all
three Greeks cram into a restroom and close the door behind them. Shortly
after the train has departed, the conductor
comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and
says, "
Ticket, please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges
with a
ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.

The Turks saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. So after the
conference, the Turks decide to copy the Greeks on the return trip and
save
some money (being clever with money, and all that). When they get to the
station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their
astonishment,
the Greeks don't buy a ticket at all.
"How are you going to travel without a ticket?" says one perplexed Turk.
"Watch and you'll see," answers a Greek.

When they board the train the 3 Turks cram into a restroom and the 3
Greeks
cram into another one nearby. The train departs. Shortly afterward, one
of the Greeks leaves his restroom
and walks over to the restroom where the Turks are hiding. He knocks on
the door and says, "Ticket, please."


lol

[Bratot]

Another lol


A fence in the garden of a public hospital has been damaged because of the storm and the hospital director wants to fix it. So he calls 3 experts, a British guy, a German guy and a Greek guy in order to examine the damage and tell him how much they want in order to fix the problem.


So the British guy takes out his tools first, he examines the problem, he measures the fence, and finally says "It'll cost you 500 euros. 100 for the materials I'll use, 100 for me and 300 divided between the workers who'll do the job".


"OK" , says the director and he asks the German guy to take a look at the fence.
The German guy takes out his tools, he measures the fence etc and finally says:"It'll cost you 400 euros. 50 for the materials, 50 for me and 300 divided between the workers".


The director says "OK" and asks the Greek guy "How much do you want to fix it?"
The Greek guy immediately says "The total price is 1.400 euros", without taking a look at the fence.
The director wonders "But you didn't even take a look and you're too expensive. How did you come up with that price?"
"Simple" the Greek guy answers. "500 euros for me, 500 for you and we'll hire the German guy to fix the fence"

[Bratot]

I can't stop



Greek father, talking to his son:

NICK POULOS (father): I want you to marry a girl of my choice.

GEORGE POULOS: 'I will choose my own bride!!! '

NICK POULOS (father): 'But the girl is Bill Gates's daughter.. '

GEORGE POULOS 'Well, in that case... ok'

Next NICK POULOS approaches Bill Gates.:

NICK POULOS (father): 'I have a husband for your daughter.... '

Bill Gates: 'But my daughter is too young to marry!!!!! '

NICK POULOS (father): 'But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank. '

Bill Gates: 'Ah, in that case... ok'

Finally NICK POULOS goes to see the president of the World Bank:

NICK POULOS : 'I have a young man to recommend as a vice-president. '

President: 'But I already have more vice- presidents than I need! '

NICK POULOS : 'But this young man is Bill Gates's son-in-law. '

President: 'Ah, in that case... ok'


And that is how GREEKS do business.

[Serdarot]

i can not believe i´ve read all the pages :P

but it was worth it, some realy nice jokes here

btw, i had to try it




http://www.pictogame.com/game.php?fr...e=SCaNCLZwzNEr <--- for those who want to kick Dora

[The LION will ROAR]

i can not believe i´ve read all the pages :P

but it was worth it, some realy nice jokes here

btw, i had to try it




http://www.pictogame.com/game.php?fr...e=SCaNCLZwzNEr <--- for those who want to kick Dora

Just had another go and got 170,384m..still hold the top score...!!!!!!

[The LION will ROAR]